Tiger Babies Strike Back

A couple of years ago I reviewed Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother by Amy Chua  (You can read my review here).  There was (and still is) much controversy surrounding this book, but I found it a fascinating memoir of someone who was doing the best she knew how with her children.  I did not agree with every choice she made as a mother, but I learned a lot about myself and, I believe, became a better mother because of her book.  And maybe not in the way you might think.  I mostly admired her absolute dedication to helping her children succeed.  I didn't always think her methods were the best, but I was inspired by her work ethic and devotion to her job as a mother.

That said, I never once believed that Chua's book was some sort of parenting manual or treatise on why Chinese parenting is superior.  That is what the media portrayed it to be, but it was a memoir.  A memoir written by a mother who might have different ideas about parenting than you or I.  A mother who, in the end, realized that perhaps some of her methods weren't working so well--that her children were not the same person and she couldn't parent them identically and achieve identical results.

Tiger Babies Strike Back by Kim Wong Keltner is billed as a rebuttal to Chua's memoir.  It is a memoir itself, though written in a much different style.  Keltner is quite humorous, and uses her humor to draw the reader in.  I'm not really sure it's much of a rebuttal, either.  To me, it showed that Keltner had a different sort of personality--more sensitive, soft, and gentle--than her stoic Chinese mother did.  I don't think this sort of situation is necessarily unique to Chinese American families.  I think as parents, if we are not careful, we can parent in a way that does not honor our children and their unique personalities.

I do find it exhausting sometimes that I need to be more gentle and sensitive with one child, more fun for another, and more active with the other one.  It's easier to just parent how I want to, without regard to my children, but the results aren't usually what I hope for.  The author of this memoir just wanted a mother who understood her, and didn't feel she had that sort of a mother.

And really, this memoir doesn't harp on the whole Tiger Mom vs. Tiger Baby point too much.  It is funny and insightful as she writes about her life after marriage and the parenting of her own child.  The book is written in short, always comedic, chapters and is a quick read. I don't think you need to have read the Tiger Mother book to find good insights and a lot of entertainment reading in the Tiger Babies book.

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I received a copy of this book from the publisher via TLC Book Tours in exchange for my review.

May at Overstuffed

Wow.  It's been nearly a month since I have blogged.  I actually really miss blogging and wish I could find the time to sit down and really write like I used to do.  For now, some photos and video of the last month will have to suffice.

The last time I posted, I mentioned how my mother was flying in to bring the sunshine to the UP.  The day that she flew up, we were expecting another gigantor snowstorm, named  Zeus.  I was so worried her flight wouldn't make it in and that she would be stranded for days in the Chicago airport.  The weather forecast kept changing slightly, and the storm was expected later and later.  Well, it started snowing pretty hard just after she took off in Chicago.  They were told that if they couldn't land in Hancock, they would simply turn around and fly back to Chicago.

I obsessively watched the little flight tracker online.  Can you see that monstrous storm?  The blue was snow, and the green was rain.  You can also see that there was a little tiny pocket of no storm action right where the airport is.  I consider it a miracle.  They landed without incident (well, unless you count how my mom lost her watch and stayed on the plane to look for it and then was locked out of our tiny airport and how I sort of freaked out that she didn't seem to be on the flight), and I had my mommy here for a few days.

The storm began in earnest shortly after we got home from the airport, and we woke up to another winter wonderland.  Well, we were already in a winter wonderland, it was just whiter now.  We had had so many snow days already that I wasn't surprised to see that school wasn't cancelled, but it really should have been since the streets hadn't even been plowed yet!
Because this is the bus that my children ride. (I did not take this picture; it was being shared feverishly on Facebook that day and made it onto the front page of our local paper the next day.) It never actually showed up to our stop--this is the stop a couple blocks before ours--and we ended up having to take the girls to school.  Would a two hour delay have killed anyone?  No.  But trying to have the buses run in this weather might have.  Yes.  I was angry.  Onto more pleasant subjects...

My mother really did bring the sunshine.  The rest of the week was gorgeous.

We went to see Bria play in the advanced student recital.  She played the Allegro from the Vivaldi Concerto in g minor.  (I love how she dealt with the music falling off of her stand at the end there--I thought I might go up to help her, but I knew she would never forgive me, and she managed just fine!)

The snow began to melt.  We even had a picnic table sighting in the backyard!

Then we had to say good-bye to Mamah.  Her visits are never quite long enough.  I felt like I hardly got to see her because I had to work so much while she was here, but I sure appreciate her coming out  to help me and spend time with the girls.

The day after Mamah left it hit 70 degrees!  We still had a ton of snow, but we got to go on a lovely walk with Puccini.
And Sophia enjoyed laying herself out in the oppressive heat (seriously, we were dying!).

All of the snow did finally melt.  We had so many nice days all in a row, that it actually melted too fast and our basement couldn't quite handle it.  Big flood.  It's under control now, don't worry!  And, no snow!

The main reason I haven't blogged is because, even though I'm done teaching "spring" semester, I have so much music to learn/memorize/practice for Pine Mountain.  I am putting in a good 3-4 hours daily of practice and I'm still nervous about being totally ready for June 5 to roll around.  I'm so thankful for the opportunity, though, and I am really loving immersing myself in music.  I'm such a lucky girl. 

The girls played in their first family recital.  It wasn't easy finding something that worked for their very different levels of playing, and it REALLY wasn't easy getting them to practice together happily.  I have a new found respect for Maria Von Trapp and the Osmonds and any other family music group because OH MY HECK doing one little number nearly killed me!
But, they did so well when it was all said and done!  We will do it again, and though it may kill me, it will be worth it!

Then there was Mother's Day.  I sure love Mother's Day!  I was spoiled with a new dress, lots of cards and school-made gifts from the girls, breakfast in bed, and my favorite gourmet dinner.

From the Mother's Day book Sophia made at school. 

Even though we woke up to a few inches of snow on Mother's Day morning (don't worry, it was all gone by the end of the day), I couldn't have asked for a more wonderful day.

Or more wonderful children.

A Day in the Life

Today I:

Got up early to teach a make up lesson. This was the second make up lesson for this particular student because he kept getting canceled for SNOW DAYS. And there was a threat of today being a snow day, too. But it wasn't. So I braved the blizzard and went to campus to teach.

Came back home to my two sleeping beauties. I did not make them get up early for school because it was opening night last night for Fiddler on the Roof (remember how my girls all auditioned?) and they were Tired with a capital T. Bria, on the other hand, went to school on time because she hates missing any school at all and is angry at me when I make her go to orthodontist appointments or stay home because she is hacking up her lungs and has a 103 degree fever.

Got Misses Chloe and Sophia ready for school and drove through the freaking blizzard to be a good parent and get them to school. This is a video taken on campus at the same time I was driving the girls to the school, in case you don't believe me.

Came back home, sat down at my computer to read email, and immediately received an email from the school that the children would be dismissed early due to the freaking blizzard. At least they got to eat lunch at school. And have inside recess.

The view from my computer this afternoon.

Got some work done while I waited for my girlies to come home from school.

Sent them promptly upstairs to rest up and watch a movie when they got home.

Talked to my mother on the phone for 45 minutes. She's coming to visit next week and is worried since it's the NEVER ENDING WINTER. But she brings the sunshine when she comes, so she HAS to come. The entire Upper Peninsula of Michigan is counting on her!

Braved the blizzard to shovel the driveway. I worked for a 1/2 hour without much progress, and I couldn't get the snow blower to start, so I called Joel crying. He tried to talk me through getting the snow blower to work, but there was no success. I finally got off the phone, sucked it up, and cleared the driveway. I have to say it was heartening to look down the hill and see my neighbor, whose husband is out of town, doing the same thing. We are amazing women! Give us a Yooper Scooper and we can conquer the world.

No, I am not doing research in Antarctica.  Just trying to shovel my driveway in the Yoop during the Never Ending Winter of '13.

Drove the girls down to the university so we could eat dinner there with the Maestro.

Helped my three little actresses get into costume and make-up. I stayed for the show last night, but we had other plans for tonight. Hopefully we don't have to clear too much snow to go pick them up later.

This photo is actually from last night, but they looked about the same tonight.  Aren't they wonderful?

Now, I will go watch a movie with my husband (our original plans for tonight were canceled for weather)(gee, I wonder why?) so he will stop watching news coverage about the Boston Bomber.

Happy Friday!

PS   No obligatory feel sorry for me because I have so much snow photo today. Because, you already do feel sorry for me. And, someone told me on Facebook today that I WIN FOR THE CRAPPIEST WEATHER IN THE WORLD! I am appeased.

In Which I Feel Sorry for Myself and Think You Should, Too

You all know that I have been having a bit of the winter doldrums lately.  It's inevitable when it's been winter for six months and spring still seems to be an idea someone just made up to make you feel better about the three feet of snow that are still on the ground on April freaking eleventh with a winter storm warning for the next two days that is predicted to bring up to fourteen more inches of heavy snow that will be "difficult to shovel."

(The winter doldrums also cause me to speak in run-on sentences.)

So, naturally, whenever anybody who does not live in my area complains that spring hasn't arrived yet, I get annoyed.  Because I know they've had a few nice days with that thing called sunshine, and I also happen to know they have NO SNOW ON THE GROUND! (Friends in Minnesota and the Dakotas, I am not talking about you.) And whenever I see these complaints come across my Facebook feed I want to type YOU HAVE NOTHING TO COMPLAIN ABOUT!  LOOK AT ALL THE SNOW I DEAL WITH!  MY WINTER IS LONGER AND MORE HORRIBLE AND MORE AWFUL THAN YOUR WINTER!  I WIN FOR WORST WINTER!  ME, ME, ME, FEEL SORRY FOR MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

But I don't.  Except sometimes I say something a little snarky, maybe.  And then I feel bad.  Because, really?  Everybody is entitled to put their pouty pants on sometimes.

But I am allowed to wear them more often than you!  Because I have more snow AND I live further away from a temple.

Yeah, that's right.  I live further away from a temple than you do.

So General Conference was last weekend. For those of you who do not share my faith, this is when every six months we all stay home from church and watch a total of eight hours of meetings broadcast from Salt Lake City spread over Saturday and Sunday.  And it is wonderful.  Anyway, one of the things that happens each General Conference is the announcement of new temples to be built.  We all look forward to this announcement with bated breath, because it is so amazing to watch the growth of the church as temples are built all over the world.

Ever since I moved here, I have watched this announcement with even more anticipation than usual because I love the temple and now we are a seven hour drive away from one (or a 45 minute flight).  I always say a little prayer that this will finally be the conference where they announce a temple to be built in Green Bay.  Green Bay is still four hours away, but that would mean two or three temple trips per year instead of just one.

And then they didn't announce a temple in Green Bay.  They announced one in Cedar City instead.

Maybe you know that I used to live in Cedar City.  Which is about an hour away from a temple right now.

And then I started seeing the posts come across my Facebook feed about how exciting the Cedar City Temple news was (and it is!) and about how it will be so very nice not to have to make that excruciatingly long trek down to the St. George temple anymore.  And I had to sit on my hands so I wouldn't type things like YOU HAVE NOTHING TO COMPLAIN ABOUT!  LOOK AT HOW FAR AWAY I LIVE FROM A TEMPLE!  MY DRIVE TO A TEMPLE IS LONGER AND MORE HORRIBLE AND MORE AWFUL THAN YOURS IS!  I WIN FOR FURTHEST AWAY FROM A TEMPLE!  ME, ME, ME, FEEL SORRY FOR MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

And then I started listening to my thoughts a little bit.  And I remembered what it was like to live in Cedar City.  I remembered that I lived there for three years, and Joel and I did not make it down to St. George very often for the express purpose of going to the temple.  In fact, we probably made it once a year, and I'm very embarrassed to admit that.

I started realizing that I have no right to judge all those Cedar City residents who are excited to have a temple in their own town.  They deserve a temple.  And it IS a long trek down to St. George.  It wasn't easy for me to make it down there because something else always got in the way.  In some ways, it's easier to have to drive all the way down to Chicago, because we have to make a whole weekend of it and it's a little harder for something to get in the way of that.

So, I decided maybe it was time to take off my pouty pants (they've been on far too long) and realize we all have something to pout about.  And even if my winter is longer than yours and my temple is further away, I'm quite sure you can come up with many things in your life that are more horrible and more awful than they are in mine (maybe even that you have a longer winter and are further from a temple)(because maybe you live in Antarctica).  So pout away!  I will no longer demand that the whole world feel sorry for ME ME ME! 

And then when I start feeling sorry for myself, I'll remember all the great things about living where I live.  Like, now that it's "spring," it stays light until 8:45 pm!  On April freaking eleventh!  I love that!  And when it's summer it's light  until nearly midnight!  MY SUN SETS LATER THAN YOUR SUN DOES!  I WIN FOR MOST LIGHT IN THE SPRING AND SUMMER!  ME, ME, MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

I may feel differently if I wake up tomorrow morning to a snow day, which, according to the weatherman is extremely likely.  But even if it is a snow day tomorrow, I promise not to wear my pouty pants for too long.  Just a few hours, and then I will take them off and find something wonderful about the snow.

My obligatory please feel sorry me because the snow refuses to melt photo.  But you don't have to feel sorry for me for very long, because it was actually really fun to watch the girls enjoying themselves in the snow this afternoon.  At least, it was until Joel came home and said "no more monkeys jumping off the deck!"  And yes, Bria is a true Yooper.  She is also in middle school and dontcha know it's not cool to wear actual coats?  Or gloves?

Carry On Warrior: Thoughts on Life Unarmed

If you are a mom and you participate in Social Media, you have heard of Glennon Doyle Melton.  Unless you were living under a rock (or unless you are one of those people who never click on the posts you see 100 times in your news feed), you most likely read her blog post "Don't Carpe Diem" when it went viral last year.  And you probably loved it.

I did.

It was one of the most validating things I'd ever read on the internet as a mother who is just trying to do her best, but doesn't always enjoy every. single. moment. of parenthood.  Who probably doesn't even enjoy most of them.  I absolutely loved loved LOVED Glennon's thoughts on this.  I love my children.  I adore my children to pieces.  I would do anything for my children.  But.  I don't enjoy many of the things motherhood entails. 

Anyway, because I loved that essay so much, I agreed to be on the tour for Glennon's new book: Carry On Warrior: Thoughts on Life Unarmed.  Even though I am trying to wean myself off of book reviews and have done a huge amount of them lately.

And it was so worth it.

I cried a lot during the first part of this book simply because I related so well to her experience.  No, I don't relate to the fact that she is a recovering alcoholic and bulimic.  I relate to her movement through life:  A person who has weaknesses, who is a mother that wants what is best for her children, who is a follower of Christ.  She really thinks a lot about what it means to be a Christian, what it means to be a mother, and what it means to have weaknesses and to lift and help each other.

Which is what the book did for me.  It made me want to be better.  A better Christian.  A better mother.  A better daughter.  A better friend.  A better person--one who lifts and helps instead of judges and shuns.  Someone who makes the world a better place.

If you haven't read her Don't Carpe Diem essay, go read it now.  And then order yourself a book.  Or comment here, because I have one to give away to one of my amazing readers.

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I was provided a copy of the book by the publisher via TLC Booktours.

The End of an Easter Era

Me and my girls, Easter 2013.  I have never felt compelled to match myself to them, mostly because I don't look so good in the little girls' styles I have often picked. Also, I feel the need to note that I am wearing 4" heels in this photograph and LOOK HOW TALL BRIA IS!

If you've been reading this blog for longer than a couple of years, you are well aware of my affinity for matching my girls on Christmas and Easter.  I mean, why have three daughters if you can't even dress them alike for important holidays, right?

I've been expecting it for a couple years now, but it finally happened.  No more matching.  Bria is simply too tall, and I hate the idea of only matching two of them.  So, no matching Easter dresses this year.

Let us all observe a moment of silence for the end of the matching Easter dresses.

And then let us all pay homage to the dresses of years past (I did dress Bria and Chloe alike for the three Easters they had before Sophia came along, but I didn't have a digital camera then, and I'm not dealing with my scanner right now, so you can just imagine those years...):

2007: Sophia's first Easter.  The dresses didn't match exactly, but they were pretty darn close!

2008:  Oh yes, I discovered The Children's Place that year!

2009: Same dress, different colors, gorgeous girlies.

2010:  Oh how I loved these outfits.  And those shoes!  Couldn't you just die?

2011:  Not my favorite dresses.  It's when I realized Bria was perhaps growing out of this tradition.  Also, please excuse Sophia, who wasn't feeling very cooperative that day.

2012: We went with a style this year that was more appropriate for Bria's height and age, yet still worked for the other two.  And we got a puppy!

Easter pretty much snuck up on me this year.  I was expecting it in April.  And heck, we still have three feet of snow on the ground, and it snowed again today.  And it's Easter?  Anyway, when I realized it was actually Easter Sunday this weekend, I got my butt over to the JCPenney (which is pretty much all I have close, unless you count WalMart and ShopKo) to see what could be bought.  And seeing how it was just this past Wednesday, I count myself lucky to have found ANYTHING, much less three dresses that coordinate nicely together.

Because if I can't match, I will at least coordinate, by golly!

And, lucky for me, I found dresses that coordinated.  They also worked nicely for each girl's individual personality (comfy lace for Bria, polka dots for Chloe, and a cheetah print belt for Sophia, who is obsessed with cheetah print).  It was like it was meant to be.  It was nothing short of a miracle.  (Not to diminish the miracle of Easter, which is the whole reason I needed these miraculous dresses.)

Sophia's dress is sleeveless, and I ordered a shrug for her, but it didn't come in time.  Oops, I did get dinged for my procrastination after all!  She is wearing one of Chloe's shrugs, which I do believe was originally Bria's from Easter 2009.  It's slightly too big.

Of course Pucci had to get in on the action!  And did I mention that Bria is 5'6" now, and that her feet are BIGGER THAN MINE?  And that I wear size 9.5-10?  What?

Because I haven't posted a picture of Puccini on the blog lately.  She just got groomed on Friday and she's cold.  Hence, the sweater.

I hope you all had a beautiful and happy Easter!

Here is my obligatory please feel sorry for me because it is Easter Sunday and I still have three feet of snow in my backyard.  And feel sorry for Puccini, too, because she has to go out there and freeze several times a day.  At least a bunch of the snow melted this weekend in our sizzling 36 degree temperatures!

Firmoo Eyeglasses Review

I've always wished that I could afford to just have several pair of glasses to choose from.  I have to wear either contacts or glasses, and I thought it would be nice to be able to wear glasses that coordinate with what I am wearing--or even glasses to match my mood!

So I was kind of excited when Firmoo contacted me to review a pair of their glasses.  Yay!  A new pair of glasses with the same prescription as the ones I got in December.  I have been a little wary of the cheaper glasses that are online, even though friends have tried them and been pleased.  But to be able to try them at no cost at all to myself is the way to go, and I have been pleased with Firmoo!

Here are my new frames.  I really like them, and I have received many compliments on them whenever I wear them.  Which is more than I can say for my other pair.   I liked that Firmoo has a virtual try-on system where I could upload a photo of myself and try on the frames.  It wasn't perfect, but it did help me decide on this particular pair.

You might be able to tell from the photo, but I have a pretty heavy prescription (though my eyes have randomly gotten better the closer I get to 40!), and these glasses came with the standard 1.5 index lenses, because they were free.  I made sure to get frames that were thick enough to hide the thickness of the lens, though there isn't much I can do about the distortion when you look at my face through the lens.

I love that Firmoo sent with my glasses both a hard case and a soft case.  And I was pleasantly surprised that they sent a handy little eyeglass repair kit on a keychain as well.  How cool is that?  It's in my purse awaiting the first eyeglass emergency, which for our family of five glasses-wearing people, is a matter of when, not if.

Firmoo offers new customers their first pair free.  Free pairs, as noted above, come with the standard 1.5 index lenses, so be aware of how your prescription affects this. If you have a heavy prescription like I do (about -7.0 with astigmatism)(it used to be -9.5!), you will want thicker frames.  Call your eye doctor to get a copy of your prescription if you don't already have one, as you will need to enter it online once you have chosen your free frames. Click here for a video tutorial to show you how to sign up as a new customer and order your first  pair of free glasses (you must pay shipping).

Paying customers do have the option to get higher index or polycarbonate lenses for a little bit more.  And with an average frame price of around $25.00, it still is much cheaper than the glasses I just got in December.  What with the lighter lenses and the designer frames, they came to over $400.00!  $75.00 is an absolute steal for a prescription like mine.

I'm seriously going to order a few more pair, just to fulfill my dream of having several to choose from!  I'm going to start with these frames first, and then maybe get these ones. Whatever I decide, I'll definitely be doing business with Firmoo again!

Here is my obligatory please feel sorry for me because my snow banks are taller than I am and I am not short picture for this post.  I am allowed because I am demonstrating the ridiculous amount of snow in front of my house while wearing my new Firmoo glasses.

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I received a free pair of glasses from Firmoo.com in exchange for my review.  All opinions are my own.